July 28

I know, I know. People grieve in many different ways. I know , I know. But I have become disillusioned  with the act of grieving. It's such a downer. I think that for some people it gives them a crutch to perpetuate the grieving. They wrap themselves in grieving. I know, I know. Each of us does it differently. I thought that I would look up grieving ,mourning and bereavement. I wanted to see how they were different. Grieving and mourning are the same. Deep sorrow. Bereavement is being deprived of a loved one through death. I am not sure where I fit in these definitions. I am sad, I am sorry that Bob is not here to be with me. I am being deprived of a loved one through death. All,of this fits me. But here is the but. I can be sad, I can be in mourning ,I grieve, but I have been prepared for this for a long time, death, sadness, sorrow. It is something internalized, but not there to stifle me. I know, I know. People do this differently. I am determined to enter main stream living. The notch in my heart goes with me everywhere. My brain looks for the stimulation of being alive, every day.   I choose life. At services ,the portion that the Rabbi talked about was Moses asking God to let him finish his journey  and cross over into Canaan. God said no. Moses asked again. God said no, And added , that's enough. Meaning that's enough, now get on with it. I thought that was so appropriate  to hear. Get on with life. Enough already. You don't get everything that you want or need. So, get on with it. Enough already. I moved to the middle of the bed.


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22.05 | 08:38

so glad youre here mom!

29.08 | 13:45

Don't quite know how this got to me but it was on the top line of my computer (not in email) But I really enjoyed it. I truly admire you.

31.07 | 07:02

Leona, do you have a date or a booked flight that you come back ?

20.07 | 13:55

Everything sounds so wonderful Leona. Venice will seem boring . I would want to move to Portownsend where the kids are living. All sounds great . Is there?

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